Here’s yet another extract from a book I bought in a charity shop in the summer…..
Gnomic Pondering:
The astonishing anthropomorphic success of garden gnomes is based on the simple British proposition that dirty old men are lovable if they wear red hats.
Another Couple of Inches Law:
Any fool who thinks a pool is simply a hole in the ground, filled with water, has never tried to make water level with the surrounding ground.
Corollary- No pool looks aslant until it has been filled with water.
Kite’s Fundamentals Relating to the Preservation of Fences:
1. If the paint or preservative is harmless to plants, it will kill the goldfish.
2. If it is clean, quick and simple to use, the large-sized brush recommended won’t fit the pot.
3. If the brush fits the pot and the paint doesn’t write off the goldfish, the plants will probably die anyway.
From : ‘Mrs. Murphy’s Laws of Gardening’ – Faith Hines (Temple House books, 1992)
Old School Gardener