gnomeHere’s yet another extract from a book I bought in a charity shop in the summer…..

Gnomic Pondering:

The astonishing anthropomorphic success of garden gnomes is based on the simple British proposition that dirty old men are lovable if they wear red hats.

Another Couple of Inches Law:

Any fool who thinks a pool is simply a hole in the ground, filled with water, has never tried to make water level with the surrounding ground.

Corollary- No pool looks aslant until it has been filled with water.

uneven pond -distortedKite’s Fundamentals Relating to the Preservation of Fences:

1. If the paint or preservative is harmless to plants, it will kill the goldfish.

2. If it is clean, quick and simple to use, the large-sized brush recommended won’t fit the pot.

3. If the brush fits the pot and the paint doesn’t write off the goldfish, the plants will probably die anyway.

Painting_a_FenceFrom : ‘Mrs. Murphy’s Laws of Gardening’ – Faith Hines (Temple House books, 1992)

Old School Gardener