Tag Archive: brown


2011-08-17-mowing-the-lawnMy second offering from a book I bought in a charity shop recently…..

1. Whenever you set out to do anything worthwhile in the garden, something else needs doing first.

corollaries:

  • There is never enough time to do it right

  • It’s too late to do it again

  • If there’s enough time and you’re not too late, it will rain.

2. In anything can go wrong in the garden, it will.

corollary:

  • Every solution breeds new blight.

3. Backache is invisible.

corollaries:

  • Backache can be heard but not seen.

  • The one certian thing abotu backache is gardening.

4. You can cultivate the plot until your fingers turn green: if you can get it to weed itself, patent the method quick.

corollary:

If you can get the lawn to mow itself then you’ve got a sure-fire winner.

From : ‘Mrs. Murphy’s Laws of Gardening’ – Faith Hines (Temple House books, 1992)

Old School Gardener

 

happy-manWhilst on holiday in Suffolk recently, I ventured into one of several Charity Shops to look at the books, especially those on gardening. I came across a little paperback which takes a ‘sideways look’ at gardening and bought it (for the princely sum of £1) in order to share some of the best little offerings with you. For a 1990’s book it sounds a little quaint, I think, especially in relation to gender stereotyping in the garden (and elsewhere)! Tell me what you think…

“1. Never plant anything in the garden that can subsequently be held against you.

2. Birds can be fooled once… the family pet, never.

3. A man who helps with the weeding is up to something.

4. Men who have difficulty making a start in the garden have no trouble at all with the motorbike or car.

5. No matter who plants it, you’ll end up peeling it.

6.’Popping down the road to borrow Fred’s tools’  translated means, ‘Popping down the pub, and should I by chance see Fred I’ll ask if I can borrow his tools.’

Corollary

Fred is always in the pub.”

From : ‘Mrs. Murphy’s Laws of Gardening’ – Faith Hines (Temple House books, 1992)

Old School Gardener

 

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